MATTHIAS RAISED £66 FOR THE INQUIRER

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The day I became a Panda was a Monday. I had picked up the suit on the Saturday before and tried it on once, realising that the holes for the eyes were roughly the size of 1p coins (rendering visibility very low) and the breathing holes were the size of an atom (rendering breathing nigh on impossible).

Despite these drawbacks, I was kind of looking forward to donning an animal suit for a day. Granted, my favourite animal is a Panther, but a Panda is close enough; plus it’s way cuter, meaning that people would be more likely to give money.

My first outing was past the primary school we live next to. I decided it’d be better not to wear the head to avoid complications. Looking back it probalby looked more weird without the head, but such is life.

Going on the bus was fine, as was the tube. When I asked someone to take my picture on the tube platform at Kings Cross, he was reluctant at first: “You what?” But I won him over, as you can see (left).Attention-wise, I was a bit disappointed – London commuters seem to have an inbuilt reserve of blase-ness they just dip into whenever they come across something slightly unusual, like a Panda wearing a sports bag sitting down next to them. But I didn’t want their attention anyway. It was City’s fee-paying, hard-working and generous students I was after.

Strolling through the journalism department around noon did draw a few looks and nudges (”Why are you being an endangered species?” a member of staff asked), but despite the lovingly designed makeshift sign I was carrying around my neck (a bit like Larry David in Season 2’s finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm) not a lot of hard cash was forthcoming.

Time to go on the offensive, I thought, so together with editor and token welshie Fran Singh, I went out into Northampton Square, where, as everyone at City knows, all the action is. To our relief, most people we approached not only liked our idea but were also prepared to help our cause – raise money to meet the (recently raised) costs of printing The Inquirer.

One student asked for a hug, a request I was more than happy to meet (apparently, though, it wasn’t a ‘proper bear hug’. Damn me and my slight frame.). Another offered, somewhat worryingly, £20 in return for the chance to punch me in the face. While Fran was weirdly enthusiastic about sealing the deal, I was appalled and declined (purely on moral grounds – I would take a bullet for this newspaper if need be).

Yet another City student wanted to know whether I was a girl Panda. When told that in fact, I was a Manda (geddit?), he said: “Oh. Nevermind, then.” What is wrong with people? But we can’t complain, because overall people showed themselves to be genuinely generous, one of the students saying he’d “skip lunch” to help out The Inquirer. What a guy.

In my afternoon economics lecture, I was hoping for some more gold coins, maybe even the odd crisp pound note. All those future consultants and hedge fund managers surely would appreciate a venture in the name of good, independent journalism, right? Theoretically. Despite me quashing arising fears that I’d spend all the money “on bamboo”, takings were somewhat below my target. No matter, because all in all we managed to make quite a sizable amount that will go some way in securing the printing costs of the first issue.

We are still far away from having secured everything we need, however, and we urge you to keep an eye out for upcoming sponsored events by everyone involved with The Inquirer. On Friday 23rd, features editor Katriona Lewis will embark on a taxing walk to uni – from her house in far-off Tooting. Taxing because it will take every bit of physical strength to complete that journey, but taxing also in the sense that she needs every bit of financial support she can get to make this a worthwhile endeavour. All donations will obviously go towards printing costs, not towards new shoes for our long-distance walker.

To sum this up, first and foremost a huge thank you to everyone who gave money. To everyone who’d like to but missed us, there’s still ample time and opportunity – just go to the “Donate” button at the top of the page and give whatever you can afford. The Inquirer appreciates every penny.

Matthias Scherer

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